Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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