Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
