easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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