is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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