God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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