I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
