But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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