i need an iv and a liver transplant
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize