If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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