As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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