The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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