whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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