Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
