i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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