let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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