Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dear god my vagina.
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