I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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