am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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