okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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