oh god the rape fog is back!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
im on a boat
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