so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
