No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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