He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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