Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
