Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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