i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think pants incapable of making pants work
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize