You're so nebulous sometimes
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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