what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
