it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Screwed.edu
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
