I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
