Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying

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  (773): I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying http://tfl.nu/t0mj
  Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.

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  (248): i fuckib htae you, you church bitch. http://tfl.nu/lauo
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

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  (630): between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before http://tfl.nu/2m53
  Replies (45) Good night (614) Bad night (4879)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?

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  (818): what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/e114
  Replies (47) Good night (5604) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...

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  (240): He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me... http://tfl.nu/wuq4
  Replies (12) Good night (2714) Bad night (4349)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.

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  (406): I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing. http://tfl.nu/w8ww
  Replies (7) Good night (5378) Bad night (1233)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.

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  (301): We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else. http://tfl.nu/5mkn
  Replies (5) Good night (3995) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.

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  (440): basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out. http://tfl.nu/kbtu
  Replies (3) Good night (803) Bad night (2667)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.

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  (443): When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain. http://tfl.nu/mvaw
  Replies (6) Good night (2215) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie

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  (815): I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie http://tfl.nu/y42e
  Replies (3) Good night (1929) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face

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  (320): I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face http://tfl.nu/yj9t
  Replies (7) Good night (2712) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.

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  (919): I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting. http://tfl.nu/i095
  Replies (9) Good night (1578) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  That's a hard toss up

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  (413): I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver (1-413): That's a hard toss up http://tfl.nu/wcmj
  Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.

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  (304): I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation. http://tfl.nu/s759
  Replies (6) Good night (1106) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us

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  (815): WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?! (847): 1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us http://tfl.nu/rdej
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (271)

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