I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
