I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
