return my video game
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
