My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
