Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
