Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
