Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
