Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize