My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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