He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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