Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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