I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
