You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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