I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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