My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
