Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
