you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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