I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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