he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
