you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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