Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
