Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
