She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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