Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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