I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
not ubering you a puppy
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
