Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
