Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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