You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
