I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
