Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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